MElancholy

As he lay prone on his bed, he wondered..'How many friends do I have?' The Deafening silence within his subconscious seemed to suggest what he had assumed all along. In the past few weeks He had begun, what he thought in his mind would be aptly called the 'Limitless project', taken from the movie of the same name, the thought had leaped to his mind when he saw how great one could become on ones own power if only he utilized all his god given potential.

"I'll do it", he thought..."then I'll show them all, all those people who still dont think I exist, those who keep saying we should meet,but would rush to welcome the first visitor from out of town, and treat me as though I was a fly on the wall."

"Well, you were, and you only have yourself to blame, said a tiny voice in the corner of your mind... you don't let go of the past, you hated your school life, you allowed yourself to get consumed with the trivial, and you lost sight of what's important. Your obstinate willingness to keep secrets is what has gotten you into this state.. it said..a little more forcefully now.Now look at you, alone..friendless, doing a job in your area of expertise for low pay and long hours, you bolted at the first sign of a long siege, when you could have at least tried to hold on back there... you would have finally escaped."

He sat up now, startled at the forcefulness of the voice...and retorted,"Look at it rationally, there was no way of predicting it, and this way, I'm self made, I did it myself.I didn't need anyone's help,or influence." he said as a sneer crept across his face,"besides, with the Limitless project.."

"Oh yes, that, how's it going for you,you're feeling sore and tired, you're alone, no one cares for you, people treat you like you're a washed up has been...you've written down your ideas, but you haven't solved any of them,that's your flaw, There's no way you can finish this project, because you're running,from what I dont know, you've dynamited more bridges this month than any other...You care so deeply for some that if you dont see reciprocity, you choose to withdraw altogether."

" Really? Then tell me how I can solve it, you see everything I've done as wrong...tell me how I can over come it, where is the solution?"

"You can be one of them, not both,you may become the best you there ever was, but at the cost of making people forget you completely, or compromise on it by going against yourself...you can be happy, or be excellent."

With that the voice fell silent, with a solemn look on his face, he made his decision, click, type, type, click click click click......